The “Why, Oh Why, Can’t I?” Podcast: Season 1, Episode 2
Hey happy little bluebird mamas! Are you feeling overwhelmed and unsure about how to find time for your passions and hobbies? Don’t worry, you’re not alone. Let’s talk about the importance of self-care and finding ways to reflect on your interests, even in the busy season of raising small children. I will also provides ideas for exploring new passions and hobbies and encourage you to give yourself grace and know that it’s okay to prioritize their family first. So if you’re a mom who feels like you don’t have time for a hobby or you just need some fresh ideas, keep reading and remember, your role as a mother is important and the skills and qualities you’re learning now will be reflected in your future interests and hobbies. You are doing a great job and it’s okay to put your family first.
Take an HONEST inventory
First, take an honest inventory of what truly interests you and brings relaxation. Don’t be afraid to consider activities you enjoyed before becoming a mom and what you’re naturally talented at. Make a list of activities that bring you joy and relaxation, like cooking, working out, or painting. Remember, just because you’re busy with motherhood doesn’t mean you have to stop dreaming about the future. It’s okay to take some time for yourself and explore your interests and hobbies.
Reflect on not only what you enjoy now, but what you loved as a child and before you had your own children. (Don’t forget to consider what your future self may enjoy)
As a busy mom, it can be tough to find time to reflect on your own interests and hobbies, especially when you’re juggling the responsibilities and interests of your family. Reflect on not only what you enjoy now, but what you loved as a child and before you had your own kids. Consider what your future self may enjoy as well. As a busy mom, it can be tough to find time to reflect on your interests and hobbies, especially when you’re juggling the responsibilities and interests of your family. But finding a passion or hobby can bring joy and fulfillment to your life, so it’s important to make space for them. Make a list of activities that bring you joy and relaxation. Take an interest inventory or quiz to see what hobbies and activities might be a good fit for you. Reflect on what you loved doing as a child or before becoming a mom. Dream about what you’ll be doing in the future when you have more time for hobbies and interests. It’s okay to prioritize your family and take time for yourself. Even if you don’t have a lot of time to reflect on your interests in this season, it’s still important to think about what brings you joy and fulfillment.
Take a personality test when your brain is too overwhelmed to compute this yourself
Honestly, there have been some seasons of life that I just wish an algorithm or computer program could just tell me who I am and what I should be doing. If that feels like you right now, consider taking an online personality test. When your brain is overwhelmed, consider taking a personality test like the Meyers-Briggs or Enneagram. These tests can give you insight into what hobbies and activities might be a good fit based on your personality. Search social media hashtags related to your test results and see what others with similar personalities are interested in. Be honest when taking the test so you can get an accurate result. There are plenty of free resources available online, so take advantage of them and have fun exploring your interests.
Link to a free Enneagram resource
Link to a free Meyers-Briggs resource
Remember that you don’t owe anyone an explanation for the things that make you feel relaxed and fulfilled. You are worthy of the things that bring you a moment of joy- especially if it’s Love Island and an IPA.
In conclusion, it is important to remember that finding and pursuing your passions and hobbies can bring joy and fulfillment to your life, even if you are a busy mom. By taking the time to reflect on your interests, make a list of activities that bring you joy and relaxation, and seek the support and guidance of loved ones, you can begin to explore new passions and hobbies. Don’t be afraid to try new things, even if they are outside of your comfort zone, and don’t let feelings of guilt or lack of time hold you back. Remember that you are worthy of pursuing your own interests and passions, and that they can enhance your life and the lives of those around you. So why, oh why, can’t you have a hobby or an interest? The answer is, you absolutely can!
Episode Transcript
WOWCI S1 E2: Discovering your passions as a busy mom
[00:00:00]
Hey, there, you happy little Bluebirds. Welcome to Why, Oh Why, Can’t I? I’m your host, Christy Keane, and I inspire women to stop asking how somebody else is able to do something and start asking. why, oh why can’t I? Today we’re gonna be talking about why, oh why, . Can’t I have a hobby or an interest? This episode is dedicated to one of my best friends, who is one of the greatest people that I know who has so many skills, so many beautiful qualities to her , but she is in the beautiful season of life raising very small children with a baby on the way. in today’s episode, we’re gonna be talking about ways to reflect on your interests, how to make time for a hobby, and ideas for exploring new passions. So whether you’re a mom who feels like you don’t have a passion or hobby, or you just need some fresh ideas, I hope that this episode will provide some value and inspiration for you.
First of all, in that phase, it is so valid to be so overwhelmed with [00:01:00] everything around you that you can hardly. Comprehend your own feelings and emotions, let alone try to help these little people navigate their feelings and emotions and help them grow to find interest in hobbies.
And then somehow along the way you find interest in hobbies. It’s a lot and that is so normal, and I go through that all the time.
There’s a reason why this podcast has taken me three years to get off the ground running. Okay? That is normal. Give yourself grace. The things that are meant to come to you, the things you are meant to learn and be interested in, they will all in due time. I want you to know all of these beautiful qualities that motherhood is teaching
are going to be reflected in the future when this season changes and you have more time to explore different interests and hobbies. But I also want you to know what you’re doing is so important. How you are raising [00:02:00] those children is so beautiful and you are doing a great job. You don’t need to have a full busy social schedule.
You don’t need to have a million different jobs and ideas. You don’t need to be doing anything. But what you are doing right now, you take care of yourself, you love on those babies, and you put your family first, and I promise you, you might not think that you have interest and hobbies in the same way, but
you actually probably have more interest and hobbies than you realize, and you might be more passionate about things than you even considered. So this episode is dedicated to those mamas,
The mamas who
dedicate everything to loving their families and still make time to listen to their crazy, multi-passionate friends’
and I think if you were listening to this, you know exactly who you are. And I love you so much. You are my true soul sister.
[00:03:00] Also, if you were somebody who’s tuning in because you are multi passionate, these are really good things to understand about people in your life who aren’t in the same season as you, and ways that you can encourage them in their journeys.
Christy Keane: So the first step to finding a passion or hobby is to reflect on what you’re interested in. And this can be a difficult task for busy moms who may feel like they don’t even have time to think about their interests because you’re thinking about everybody else around you’s interest, and that is perfectly fine and it’s beautiful and it’s important you are doing good work.
Having a passion and hobby can bring so much joy to our lives and it can bring a lot of fulfillment, and that’s why I think it’s important to make space for them.
Christy Keane: One way that you can do this is make a list of activities that bring you joy or relaxation. It could be something. This can be anything from cooking, working out, painting to reading, or listening to some True crime podcast and watching a little love island.
Okay.
I wanna remind [00:04:00] you to not just write down things that you think should be your hobbies or you think you should enjoy. Just be honest with yourself and write down the things that you truly and honestly enjoy. You don’t have to list these things out in a TED Talk in a public forum, you can write these down on a piece of paper and rip up the paper and throw it away.
You can write a note in your phone and then delete it. You can just think these things in your head. A very important thing to work on is just being honest with yourself. There’s no reason why you don’t have to be honest with yourself. You are you. That has been helpful for me in this season.
Christy Keane: What really brings you joy and relaxation in this season?
I also want you to think about what has brought you joy and relaxation in other seasons. . Just because it’s something that you can’t visualize in the moment right now, doesn’t mean that part of your soul isn’t still there. Her soul is your soul.
That same beautiful woman who has [00:05:00] traveled the world, who has done hikes, who used to work out every single day she’s still there, she’s still in you. Her soul is your soul. So , write those things down as. Because even if this isn’t the season, there will come a time and it will be, and you can start dreaming.
Remember we were little girls and it was perfectly fine to dream about the hobbies and lives that we would have as an adult. It’s perfectly fine to be an adult and to dream about the hobbies and things that you’ll be doing when your kids are in school full-time. You don’t have to stop doing that! , you never have to stop doing that.
Think about what did you love doing as a child? What hobbies and activities did you enjoy doing before you became a mom?
It’s also helpful to consider what you’re naturally good at. Do you have a talent for singing or writing? Are you naturally gifted with athleticism? What about crafting or gardening?
Some people are born with a green thumb.
We all know one day I am gonna have a hyper fixation on gardening. It might not be until 20 years from now, but I know [00:06:00] that’s gonna be a season that’s going to come.
I just, I feel it in my bones, but it’s not a natural talent of mine. I don’t just look and imagine a beautiful garden or how I can make my landscape look.
Now I know what you might be thinking. , I don’t have time to think about my interest. I’m too busy with my kids and my responsibilities and thinking about all of their interests and trust me, I get it. I really do as I’m literally doing the same thing right now and having massive mom guilt.
I’m trying to build a business and a job here, and I am in a conversation with my husband that is making me have massive mom guilt. He is overwhelmed getting all three kids ready for school. As I’m here working and I feel like I should be there. I feel like I should be handling it and I should be managing his stress better and I should be managing my time so that he can pursue his interest.
Literally. I’m here recording this at six in the morning. because I’m trying to get my work done because he has something he would like to do with a hobby [00:07:00] of his and interest. I understand, and I’m living it in this moment right now, and I just wish someone to gimme a hug and I wish I could give you a hug because I totally understand the guilt that is associated with
even thinking about having an interest when you are managing a house full of other people’s interests, not just your kids, but your husbands , I don’t know how dare us? I get it.
I swear I’m not trying to be patronizing by trying to help you discover interest and hobbies in a season where you’ve don’t visualize that right now. I promise you. This is just to be helpful and.
and you might not be carving out time to reflect on these interests in the same way that you think you should. It can just be a daydream before bed. But it’s just helpful and it can be helpful to do this with a friend or a loved one. It’s nice.
Another way to reflect on your interest is to take an interest, inventory or quiz, so there’s many online. I will link some of my favorite ones, and I’ve actually made a worksheet for you that I will link in the show [00:08:00] notes that. will help you do this in just a quick and easy way, and it’s just sometimes nice to see what activities and hobbies are a good fit for you.
When you do these interest inventories and you can visualize them, you can start to put things together like a little plan, a little roadmap, you can start linking things I’m imagining when an FBI agent is trying to link a suspect, they have all those post-it notes and pictures on the wall and there’s the red string tying them all together.
You can do little things like that right now. Here’s an example. You love your coffee in the morning. It doesn’t have to be a freaking fancy coffee. You throw in your k-cup and a little cream, however you take it, but you look forward to that cup of coffee every. , and then you look at the list and you say I’ve also wanted to get better at taking photos and videos. You have a phone in your pocket you do not need fancy gear or fancy equipment to start getting better at photography. You don’t need a course.
You don’t need to watch a million YouTube videos on it. You have eyes, you have a phone, you have coffee. That’s what you have in this [00:09:00] season. If that’s what you have time for, just take a picture of it every day.
it could just be a boring picture on day one, just a cup of coffee. And on day two you might think maybe I’ll try to, take it in front of different lighting or just play around with it, throw it in the tezza app and make it look super cool. tezza is my favorite photo editing app.
Lightroom Tezza you don’t need anything else for photos, in my opinion. You don’t have to make it look fancy. You don’t have to add Photoshop graphics. , just take a picture of it every day. Week two, you might be like, oh, I think I’ll try to take a video using the cinematic feature on my phone. Just take a video five seconds.
That is just one idea. If you enjoy a TV show every day, and you also like to scroll your phone at night. Then you know what I like to do? I have Reddit pages that I check every night for Vanderpump Rules
I don’t write anything on them, but I just love looking at them at the end of the day and seeing what’s going on in all of the cast members’ lives. Again, is this a fruitful hobby or way to spend my time in the evening?
How were we defining the fruitfulness? It’s [00:10:00] not something I’m trying to make money or a career out of, but I just like doing it so I do it.
Another fun suggestion that I always find very interesting and intriguing is to take a personality test. , I encourage you to look online and take a test such as the Meyers- Briggs type test. the Enneagram. That one’s very interesting to look into. And then if you are scrolling your Instagram feed before you go to bed at night, look up the hashtag Enneagram and whichever number you come up with.
And it’s so fun to see other people like you. And you might start to see, oh, this person has a very similar personality to mine and they’re doing this in their free time, and that looks like a lot of fun. That looks like something I might be into as well. So I encourage that and just be honest with the answers, again, you don’t have to print out your test and tell every what you are.
Just be honest with them so you can get a really good, accurate, because in this season of. . Sometimes you just feel like you need a computer or some kind of algorithm to compute who it is that you are and what it is that you like to [00:11:00] do, because you don’t even have time to think about that yourself.
So take advantage of those. There’s so many free resources. I will link some in the show notes for you, talk to loved ones. We all might have a lot of friends if we’re lucky in our lives, there’s only those few that in your gut, in your soul, you have that perfect harmony and trust with hold on to them for dear life.
They are the people that you can always talk about your interest with. . They’re the people who even in your weakest moments, even in your most exhausted, tired moments, they still see you and the best of you. They remember all of the amazing traits and skills and the person you were before, after, during motherhood and these busy seasons. That has never left them.
They know your soul and they can help you remember that when you can’t remember it for yourself. Cuz Lord knows I have had those friends and thank God for them. .
Again, I don’t wanna be patronizing I understand what it feels like. I don’t have enough minutes in the day.
Just know that I think you’re doing a [00:12:00] freaking fantastic job. You , don’t have to have a million hobbies and passions right now. You don’t have to be doing all the things or you can and I can help you find support systems that can help you do the things that you wanna do and find time.
We can figure that out, I think. And if we can’t, we’ll just love each other through it and be , okay, cool
so again, just some of the highlights about finding your interests and hobbies is to do an interest inventory, make a list of the things that you enjoy that you loved as a kid, the things that excite you and energize you.
If you do have time though after you start expanding your interest inventory. A few other things that are good and helpful is to really clarify your values. Make a list of the values that are important to you that could be creativity, adventure, community. It’s different for us all. For me, I know creativity and sharing that to help others is a big value of mine. Kindness is a value of mine and trying to carry myself in a way that someone.
else would wanna carry themselves in and family [00:13:00] time. So for me, no matter what my interests, hobbies, career goals are, I know a content life involves being with my kids at five o’clock and having the weekends to spend time with them because you only get this time once.
Another exercise that you can do would be your strength assessments. Write a list of what your strengths are, and again, we can tie these all together in a cool little F b i red string diagram because these all do and can tie together. For example, if you are very organized and detail oriented, you might enjoy hobbies that involve planning and organizing, event planning and scrapbooking.
if you like me, are a little bit more type B and messy. You might want to explore things that are creative that you don’t have to be super detail oriented with
also I think that we all know journaling is something that we can do to help reflect on our interests and our passions.
Our feelings… . I am somebody who cannot sit down at the end of the day [00:14:00] and just write. It’s very sad. I wish I could just sit down in a desk and have a cute bullet journal, in my head that sounds amazing, with different,
perfectly highlighted colors and little graphics and details. But that’s not. What I can do and what I love doing is audio journaling. So when you are very busy, when you’re cleaning up the dishes, if you have your headphones on or phone nearby, open up the voice recording app and just speak to it.
What I think is really beautiful about audio journaling is it’s a quick and easy way to get out your thoughts without having to filter them through the brain to hand writing connection I will filter so much in that little moment. I feel like I’m leaving a little time capsule for my kids one day where they can always look back and hear my voice and learn more deeply about the person that I was how much I love them and how much I did in [00:15:00] those moments that I didn’t feel like myself. I want them to know that and I want them, especially my girls, to feel like that’s okay if they get in that season. I’m gonna cry right now thinking about it because God, you never wanna think about the day that you are no longer here and what you’re leaving behind for your children. That is such a I don’t even wanna say dark and depressing because it’s inevitable, but it’s such an emotional thought, but because it’s something that’s inevitable. You can leave little things like that. That’s my little side rant, emotional tidbit on audio journaling.
Some journal prompts that you could do to find hobbies and interests would be, what do I enjoy to do in my free time? What activities bring me a sense of fulfillment? If I could do anything I wanted in the world without limits, what would I do? What did I wanna be when I was growing? , and that doesn’t have to be just one thing.
You’ve probably wanted to be a million things when you’re growing up, which is cool. learning to you do a lot of things is cool
and vision boarding. Creating vision [00:16:00] boards are really fun ways to look at your goals and passions and to put again, like those little red FBI strings all together. You can include pictures, quotes,
anything that will help you gain clarity on what you wanna pursue and what serves you for inspiration and fulfillment. That doesn’t mean you need to go to Walgreens and get a white poster board and a couple magazines and thoughtfully tape everything on there. You don’t have to do that. We live in cool times, my friend.
I wanna give you a fun vision board alternative that might fit into your lifestyle as it is right now. That’s not gonna take any time out of what your day-to-day schedule is. If you are a busy mom and a moment that you enjoy is taking a breath and scrolling through your social media feeds pinterest obviously is a very obvious answer , but sometimes you don’t wanna be scrolling on Pinterest because usually when you’re on Pinterest, it’s for something specific. Sometimes you just wanna be scrolling on social [00:17:00] media because You like to see variety and your friend, social media is what it is.
We scroll it because we scroll it. I encourage you to just hit the save button one night , take five minutes. Not even five minutes. You don’t even take five minutes. Take one minute of your social media scroll at the end of the day and type in a search term or a hashtag for one of the interests that you’ve been thinking about from the inventory list.
So if that is family travel, type in family travel, scroll down and if something makes you feel excited. or if something like coloring of something, the mood of the experience that’s going on, or even the photo or video, save that. If somebody posts something helpful, save those. .
You can save them into folders. Call it your 2023 vision board and just look back on it there. You’re creating a vision for yourself in doing something that you’d be doing anyway in bed as a busy mom.
So now that you’ve reflected on your hobbies, the next step is to figure out how to make time for the hobbies. That can be challenging for busy moms [00:18:00] because we often have so much on our plate. So it’s important to make space for activities in a way that doesn’t make us stressed out because yeah, self-care stresses us out sometimes as mom, that mom guilt thing is
fO real. One way to make time for a hobby is to schedule it into your week. And I know that’s not for everybody, I’m just gonna caveat every freaking little part of this podcast to say, I swear I’m not trying to be patronizing at all.
I have been the mom at home alone with three kids and no help as a military spouse. And no, there’s not gonna be time to schedule in a week for your hobby. We can try these other little tips I want you to know you are freaking phenomenal. . But if you have the help to enlist from a partner or a babysitter to com free up your time, I encourage you to, , I understand you might not have that ability to, so if that’s the case, look for opportunities to incorporate it into your daily routine. So as we were talking about earlier with the coffee and taking pictures every day, or if you love to read, bring a book with you when [00:19:00] you’re holding your babies for bedtime
but be flexible and just recognize that many of us don’t have a lot of time for a hobby every day. And that’s okay. Start small, build up to it. All these little cookie crumbs come together I know that you are the type of person who’s putting the energy right where it needs to be.
And if right now, if today . If that energy needs to go fully to your babies and your family put it there, they need that energy and
You’re doing the right thing. , you know in your gut when you have something that isn’t bringing joy to your life, that you could cut out from your schedule to create more true authentic moments of passion and fulfillment. You know the things that serve you and you know the things that don’t serve you.
You’re a freaking badass mom. Cuz this episode is for the moms. If you’re listening to this, if you aren’t a mom yet, bookmark this episode and come back to it. Things change. Things change rapidly.
I just wanna encourage you because , I know exactly who I’m speaking to as I say [00:20:00] this, and it makes me wanna cry too. But I know that there are more mamas like her out there who need to hear these because I was that mama and thank God for her being there for me. Just wanna say, if you are like that mama, you are doing a beautiful job and you are doing it with grace and you are so interesting and so relatable and down to earth and the kind of mom that I would wanna have, and I know that your girls are thriving because you are so selfless in this season that you could put your hobbies and interests that you thought about when you were a little girl, that you could put those aside because you want them to have that. You want that life for them. You want them to be dreamers, and you are nourishing that right now, and you are gonna have a season.
you will have time for interest and hobbies, and that season might not be today. But you’re doing a great job. Keep an open mind. Be willing to try new things that might seem [00:21:00] intimidating or outside your comfort zone.
Be honest with yourself about what brings you joy. And don’t give two rats butts if it is not What is on Women’s Health Magazine 2023 Best Resolutions of the Year. Enjoy your glass of wine and murder mystery just remember, it is okay to take time and explore. It is okay to take time to yourself. It’s okay to do that in ways that fit in your schedule right now.
I hope that these tips, or at least the conversation have been helpful for you finding hobby and passions as a busy mom in this season. If you’d like to connect more and continue the conversation, feel free to find me over on social media at @christykeanecan. I’m on TikTok, YouTube, Instagram, pretty much everywhere there.
I’d love to hear about your journey, and any insight you have that I could share that would be helpful to other moms in this season.
and, you can even follow the link in my show notes to leave me a voicemail, and a chance to be featured on the show! If you are looking for more resources, be sure to follow the link in the show notes for some interest inventory, worksheets, and helpful tools.
[00:22:00] Thank you for tuning in to this episode!! I CANT WAIT to see all of YOU happy little bluebirds, on the other side of the rainbow!
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