Unlocking Your Multipassionate Mind: Managing Hyperfocus

In this episode, I’ll be diving into the topic of hyperfocusing and how it relates to being a multipassionate woman. Here’s what you can expect to learn:

• Common misconceptions about ADHD and how it’s diagnosed differently in women than men.
• How motherhood may exacerbate symptoms of ADHD.
• How hyperfocusing can lead to a cycle of spending too much money on new hobbies and feelings of guilt and shame.
• My personal tips and tricks for identifying when I am hyperfocusing and how I enjoy the motivation and creativity of new interests and hobbies without negatively impacting time management, family life, and finances.
• Tools and apps that have helped me manage hyperfocusing and improve productivity.
• Reminder and pomodoro timer apps that I’ve found to be highly rated.
• Tips for keeping up with physical calendar or planner and the best calendar scanning apps that work directly with google calendars.
• How to enjoy the cycle of hyperfocusing without spiraling during it.
• Why a tactile part of the alarm may help someone with ADHD and hyperfocusing.

This episode is for anyone who has ever felt the pull of a new hobby or interest and couldn’t resist diving in headfirst. I want to help normalize the experience of hyperfocusing and give you tools to manage it in a way that is balanced with your responsibilities and passions. Join me as I navigate the uncharted waters of ADHD and empower multipassionate women to take control of their hyperfocus.

Show Transcript:

[00:00:00] hey all you Happy little Bluebirds. Today we are gonna be talking about something that I think a lot of women who are multi-passionate and may experience from time to time, which is hyper-focusing and. , yes. Hyper-focusing is something that is often associated with A D H D, but I just wanna remind you that just because you are multi-passionate does not mean that you have a D H D.

But it is really common for women with A D H D to be multi-passionate, and I understand that might be confusing. . But if at any point you think that you may have adhd, I am certainly not a professional on it.

I am just somebody who has experience with it and got diagnosed later in life. So I would recommend that you talk to a professional if it’s something that you have been silently struggling with. I have been very open about my struggles with A D H D. I was not diagnosed until adulthood

It’s very [00:01:00] obvious now, thankfully, because there’s a lot more information about A D H D and women getting diagnosed and how it’s different. But for me personally, I was always somebody who was a very high performing student. I did really well as a child, even though 

 It also didn’t feel like a struggle when I was a kid. honestly, 

it never really felt like a struggle for me personally until I became a mom. And when I became a mom, the symptoms were so exacerbated and I think that it’s because you start to manage not only all of your. Creative thoughts and ideas and hobbies and interests and jobs and careers, but so many other peoples as well.

 It’s really not uncommon for a woman to be diagnosed later in life, especially after motherhood and after social media and entertainment these days, there is not a lot left that captures our attention for too long. There’s a whole host of [00:02:00] factors why you might find it to be more difficult in your adult life, and as a mom, and we’re just gonna talk a little bit about the hyper-focusing aspect of that today. 

Hyper fixations tend to be really high dopamine times very exciting times. But this can also lead to spending a lot of money on new hobbies and a particular cycle of guilt when you are no longer interested in said hobby, or you did not finish the task or hobby to completion. I really wanna help normalize this cycle and take away some of the shame that women may feel about it, because I know I’m not alone in this, and I have talked to so many people who know this shameful cycle.

that comes along with hyper-focusing, but you also just enjoy, it’s hard because you are enjoying something new in the moment and learning something new and that excitement is great. There’s nothing wrong with learning new [00:03:00] things, but I would be lying if I didn’t say this. Sometimes hyper-focusing can cost me financially and it can cost me time with my family. So I just wanna talk about that so we can have some tips, some hacks, some ways to control, just a way to feel better about the fact that hyper-focusing is going to happen. It is. If you were like me, just embrace it. Accept it. , it’s gonna happen, but let’s figure out a way to do it mindfully and intentionally and in a way that is balanced with the rest of our actual adult responsibilities and hobbies and careers. So hyper-focusing is a symptom of ADHD where you become so absorbed in a specific task or interest that you lose track of time and other responsibilities at times. And the intense focus can make it difficult for people like me to switch to other tasks or [00:04:00] activities and.

and we feel really distracted when someone tries to interrupt that flow. But this period of hyper-focusing is associated with really high levels of motivation, creativity, and productivity. So it’s a very, it’s almost like a high of learning something. But because of how quickly and intense these fixations can be, it really can lead to pretty quick burnout, procrastination, and feeling overwhelmed.

And again, I just wanna remind you, this is normal and I am speaking from experience, my friend. Multi-passionate women may relate more to hyper-focusing because we have so many interest and passions and there’s almost like a sense of urgency when you become interested in something that you have to learn all about it right then, or you have to start a [00:05:00] whole entire business opportunity before somebody else thinks of the idea that you have in your head.

If you know, you know thing, a lot of times there is a sense of urgency that is overwhelming when you have a new interest or a new business idea, et cetera, 

but the problem is shiny object syndrome does exist, and so it’s not uncommon to quickly lose interest in that activity or just all of a sudden that muumphin that passion and urgency leaves or to just get distracted by another more interesting idea or hobby at the time to you. So it’s a cycle, right?

This can lead to the excitement and joy of learning something new and starting multiple projects, but then not finishing any of them and feeling guilty because you can’t commit to just one thing, which apparently society thinks we should be able [00:06:00] to do when it comes to hobbies and interests and. . hyper focusing can make it really hard to manage your time and energy effectively, and it leads to just this overwhelming feeling of overwhelm and like you’re never doing enough because you’re doing so much of so many things that you just feel like you’re not doing enough in just one thing or where you think you’re supposed to.

it’s important that you recognize hyper-focusing is not a negative thing, even though there’s this cycle that sometimes you can get stuck in. It’s a symptom that can be managed with the right tools and strategies. So you have to understand your own patterns of hyper-focusing so that you can be aware when it starts to happen, and then develop strategies for breaking out of it when you know it’s necessary

But you also have to set realistic expectations and also leave room for the fact that it’s awesome that your creative brain wants to learn something new or deep dive into a new topic or hobby. I will be the first to tell [00:07:00] you, I think that is badass and a very strong, unique, awesome trait that you have.

But I will tell you maybe one of the biggest problems when I have hyper-focusing is that I’m so highly motivated and so into the idea when I have a big idea or if I’m really into something, my brain doesn’t just like get into it. Like we’re saying. I have fully talked myself into the fact that I am a superstar in this or that I at least have the potential to be..

it’s a little grandiose, and if you know, you know, it’s just these big dreaming hearts that we have. But that can also lead to something that really stresses me out, which is spending way too much money to support that interest that may not be there forever. So for example, let’s just say someone becomes really fascinated with painting. You purchase all of the necessary materials because you’ve never [00:08:00] painted before and you need painting things.

So you go out and you purchase all the necessary materials and you get all new paintbrushes. Oh, by the. , it’s not like you’re just going to Michael’s and getting any old paintbrush. You have spent hours on YouTube watching other people who paint. Who are amazing and can do this, and you’re thinking, why or why can’t I?

But first you have really figured out what the best paintbrushes are for exactly what you wanna create, you have already done the hours of research and you’ve watched so many people succeeding and creating beautiful things that there’s no way you’re not gonna buy those things.

Do I know this from firsthand experience? Yes. Yes I do. As I record this on a Zoom pod, track P four, and I could just be holding my phone up to my ear instead, but here we are. it can really lead to spending a lot of money in a short period of time, and you feel great right away.

You don’t really have that much regret in [00:09:00] the moment because again, you have talked yourself into, at this point you’re gonna be making bacoodles of money on your art.

Like whatever this idea is, it is worth it. This is gonna be a business expense because you are about to take over the world with painting 

Christy Keane: When somebody has ADHD and they lose interest in that hobby or task, especially after they’ve invested actual financial money into it, and time because time is valuable, I think it’s more valuable than anything.

They start to have a feeling of guilt or they feel ashamed because they’ve spent so much money and time on something they’re no longer interested. and then they feel guilty because they didn’t finish the task to completion. And if you’re like me, you probably told everybody in the world about this thing and your big, brilliant idea and how you’re gonna change the world with it.

So there’s a certain amount of shame or embarrassment or just oh, here she goes again. We’ve talked about this before. So it’s just a cycle of [00:10:00] not feeling satisfied , even though I’m gonna tell you again, all of these little hyper-focusing times, all of these skills, all of these lessons you have learned are important.

But that is also not to say sometimes we can manage them in a bit more of a balancing and helpful way. But it’s also important to understand that this cycle is a common experience for multi-passionate women, especially multi-passionate women who struggle with adhd. And it’s not a reflection of personal weakness or a lack of discipline by any means.

It’s a reflection of how amazing your brain is and how wide and expansive and open you are. So just always make sure you’re still being kind to yourself when you’re in these cycles. It took me a long time and I think that just the more that I’ve been honest with people. who I am and how my brain works.

It’s made it a little bit easier to just embrace it. But when you set realistic goals, when we’re in these [00:11:00] moments whether it be financial goals or time management goals, limits to, the amount of time and money spent on these hobbies so that we can avoid the negative part of the cycle and just really.

The uptick and the excitement and the dopamine that comes with learning something new.

So for somebody who struggles with hyper-focusing, let’s talk about identifying when it’s happening so that you can enjoy the moments of creativity without affecting time management, family life, and finances. Keep a journal. Number one, keep a journal. Write down times when you’re feeling hyper-focused and what it’s on so that you can identify patterns and triggers.

I think that patterns make things a little bit easier to identify.

So keeping a journal and just seeing if you know anything stands out for when the times are that you hyper focus. And also so you have a record to go back to for all of your freaking amazing, brilliant billion [00:12:00] dollar. Number two, set a timer. Use a timer and keep track of the amount of time you’re spending on something to know when you’re getting into that realm of, am I just curious about this right now?

Or am I like deep focused on this? Am I going down a rabbit hole? And then you can also use the timer to limit the amount of time that you do spend on that. Make sure that you’re prioritizing family and other responsibilities. I almost use my hyper fixations, like I gamify them or use them as a reward. I don’t know, like it’s okay, after I complete all of the laundry, like when all of the laundry in my house is done, then I can watch three YouTube videos about the best podcast, mic for traveling or, you can get creative, if I’m folding laundry and I’m super into. Seeing how people set up their digital planners, then it almost feels like a reward, and it feels really good to have that [00:13:00] YouTube video on in the background. While I’m completing that chore

or financially, I can say, these are the bills and what I need to make sure I have paid by the end of the month, or that I have saved by the end of the month. and if I have a little bit left over here is something that I could buy for myself in the zero to $50 category, or 50 to a hundred. I just write it down and be smart about it.

And also, if you’re married, this sounds honestly, if I tell my husband I wanna buy this, , that is really helpful because it would be . Sometimes you just need somebody else to be like, okay, hold on, let’s talk this out. Or no, we actually do not have the funds for that right now, and I love how enthusiastic you are, but let’s put some money in a swear jar or something, or say for another day.

The next tip is to use a schedule or a planner. Plan your day and your week with [00:14:00] specific times in mind for your hobbies. That way you can actually look down and see where your time needs to be and where you’re spending it. And if you feel like something feels off balance, literally write down everything you’re doing in a day.

and be very honest with the time spent on it, such as I was on Instagram from this time to this time today scrolling, or this is how much time I actually spent in a conversation with my husband or playing with my kids, versus, this is literally the time that I spent watching YouTube videos 

 you don’t have to announce it to the world in a public forum. You just need to be honest with yourself about where you’re spending your time. If you literally just spent three hours on TikTok when you could have been folding the laundry that you’re gonna complain about.

And I’m not saying you, I’m saying that as in this is that I do. If you’re gonna spent $20 on Taco Bell, DoorDash at 10:00 PM when you were laying in bed watching White Lotus and then complain that you’re [00:15:00] feeling tight on finances when you wanted to invest in, a new app or journal that’s that’s shit I have to be honest with myself about and be like that’s on me.

And this is literally how I spent my time when I could have been spending it otherwise. Identify what your distractions are and try to remove them for me, this is keeping my phone on do not disturb when I’m recording a podcast or when I’m trying to write something. My phone is my biggest distraction. When I’m going into an app like TikTok or Instagram to create something, I have to be really mindful

to remember, I’m getting onto this app to share value with somebody else right now and not to get down a rabbit hole and consume it for hours. 

I mentioned this a little bit during this conversation, but use positive self-talk. It’s so easy when you’re feeling guilty for not finishing a task or spending too much money on it to really be mean to yourself even when nobody [00:16:00] else is saying to me about this cycle.

I have in the past said really mean things to myself in my head, and so now I just use positive self-talk and it really is helpful. I am the first person to tell you, as I have said in this episode, probably more than once, my brain is incredible and women like me literally, just the idea of being so open to learning new things is a really big struggle for people which is wild to me. I would never want to think any other way.

I don’t wanna be anything other than what ive been tryna be lately. And I also just wanna encourage you to seek help, talk to a therapists or professional who can understand and really look at the symptoms and your patterns and help develop professional strategies to break out of this cycle.

Because what works for one person might not work for everybody else. And how these [00:17:00] moments of hyper focus. One person financially or time wise or socially, may be very different than how somebody else is able to manage them. So if you’re ever just feeling like it’s too much or you’re overwhelmed, or you’re at a loss, just talk to a professional and know that’s normal I can fully empathize with how nerve wracking it is to seek help for that.

because it doesn’t seem like a problem per se. It seems almost silly to have to say it out loud to somebody like, Hey, I’m so excited about frigging artificial intelligence right now that I am not able to spend quality time with my family in a way that it’s not consuming my mind. Because that’s a very real thing for people.

And even if that sounds silly, it’s very real. And , it’s not silly, 

As I’m listing out these tips [00:18:00] for you guys, I also understand that it can be challenging to even think rationally or understand that you are in this cycle when you’re into it because it’s such a tunnel vision. So there are additional tools in third party products or hacks that can help you enjoy the cycle without spiraling, or at least reduce it a little bit.

Use reminder apps, set reminders on your phone or your computer to take a break and check your schedule often. It is so not uncommon to forget what you have going on in your. or to really plan deeply on this new interest hobby, and forget you have something else going on altogether. So check your schedule.

Check your calendar. Often

when it comes to reminders and timers, I know a lot of people swear by a Pomodoro timer

which is a specific time management technique where you work for a specific set of time, usually around 25 minutes, [00:19:00] and then you follow that with a short break. So this just helps you stay focused and productive. , but also give yourself time to take a break and get back into reality. If you know what I’m saying.

Here is something very interesting though that I think is a huge tip and hopefully can help somebody here today. I can easily dismiss auditory alarms, so I could set all of these very helpful. pomodoro timers to be efficient with my time management, but it won’t break my concentration and that’s the first problem.

It’s so easy for me to just hit snooze or dismiss it and just pretend like it never even existed. But the other problem is most of the time for me in this day and age, and I think this is common for most of you listening, the timer is on your phone. So when you go in to dismiss the timer, now you’re [00:20:00] seeing notifications that you might need to answer or you.

Have a habit of picking up your phone and opening up an app and then getting distracted that way. So for me, the auditory timers can be not as helpful, but the Apple Watch has been a game changer for me because of the tactile alarm.

So I have it set when I do an alarm and I say, set a timer for 10 minutes and then tell me to change over the laundry you hear the auditorial alarm, but then I also feel that vibration on my wrist, and that is way more effective at snapping me out of hyper-focusing.

 There’s a reason why this is helpful. So it’s an intentional capture. These vibration alarms are more attention grabbing because tactile alarms are able to physically interrupt the task at [00:21:00] hand, whereas an audible alarm, you can just ignore it or dismiss it and snooze it and go.

it’s very immediate and tangible to the flow of whatever you’re doing for a tactile alarm to disrupt it. What’s cool is that you can really personalize these tactile alarms, so some people need a stronger vibration or like a pattern of vibrations to snap them out of. Focus or to acknowledge the alarm.

And some people just need a little, this is a little like tiny buzz for it to work. That’s what she said. But also when it’s on your wrist, like my Apple watch, it’s. Close to your body and it makes that sensation so much stronger. It is a multi-sensory experience, which means it involves touch plus the auditory stimulus, which is usually proven to be more effective in break in focus.

And the other really important thing is that it’s location based. When it’s a watch, [00:22:00] it is on me at all times, which means that I can’t just ignore the alarm of it can’t just be a phone in another room or on silent because it is vibrating on my wrist so just a little note of a little tip or hack that I feel like works for me.

Especially as a NICU nurse, I’m not even kidding. You get desensitized to alarms because there’s always something beeping or going off in the nicu and it made me really desensitized to auditory alarms. I will link these in the show notes, but some highly rated reminder and Pomodoro timer apps are Todoist.

I love Todoist. There’s also the Pomodoro Timer app that you can get on both iOS and Android Forest. F O R e s t has a really nice reviews Toggle, T O G G L is a great app.

I also use that a lot for timekeeping for employees. And a few that I have not tried, but I heard [00:23:00] good things about are focused to do, be focused pro habit, hub and momentum.

 For me, I basically, when I use my Apple Watch, I typically am just. Hey Siri, can you set a reminder for this or a timer for that? Oh, I just said she’s listening. Or Alexa in my house. 

I think those are probably the ones that I use the most when I think about timers and reminders. But I would love to hear what works for you and what you know, especially unique ones. . Another thing that is un that is not unique to me, I should say. I prefer writing things down and checking things off of a list, but I also like cannot locate these notebooks or calendars, and I’m not good at following through with them or keeping up with them.

I love a notebook, you guys, there’s a certain type of notebook, there’s a certain type of planner. And like a certain type of fine point pen for me that just feels so good. And I have really nice highlighters, but I haven’t used them yet because I [00:24:00] just know when I get into the highlighter game, ugh. It’s game over and I love these things.

I have it’s a problem. And I, for some reason, I think if you’re listening to. There’s a high percentage of you who will understand what I’m talking about because it’s a thing. It’s a thing with multi-passionate women. It’s definitely a thing with multi-passionate women with A D H D and all the intentions are there and we have such good intentions.

We wanna keep calendars. We want to be organized. There is no part of me that doesn’t want to be good at time. . There’s no part of me that doesn’t want to be able to do all of the shit that I wanna do and not be hyper-focused on one thing to where it affects my life. It just is what it is. Apparently there are actual apps that you can write down in a physical calendar, like have your pretty physical calendar or write a to-do list, and then take a picture of it and it’ll automatically put it into your Google calendars or your [00:25:00] Apple calendars, or it will automatically add it to your reminder to-do.

and I can’t tell you exactly which ones because again, I was about to go down a rabbit hole. But if you are somebody who uses this amazing, magical technique, I need to know ASAP what it is. . I don’t know. I just wanna go to TJ Max and I wanna get whatever amazing blush pink calendar they have that might have a cute boho rainbow touch to it.

Okay. And I want to get a super fine point. and all of the muted boho highlighters and make a calendar and then scan that in. I don’t wanna have to buy a specific type of notebook or a specific type of pen, so I don’t know if that exists, but if it does, let me know. I was told to check out Our Genius scan, apparently this takes pictures of your physical calendars and to-do lists and turns them into a PDF file, and then you can export those to your [00:26:00] Google Drive and Dropbox.

Another big one that had good reviews was the Microsoft Office lens that powers up with OneNote. So One Note is a Microsoft tool that has note organization.

You can do audio and video recording, handwriting recognition, web clipping. You can share and collaborate. You can use it on your phones. There’s calendar integrations, because I’m generally on iOS, I just, I’m trying to see if there’s other options for my iPad specifically. Evernote is one that came up and also good notes.

I would love to hear your input if there is a function like that works. because us girls with the hyper-focusing, we need reminders and we need good calendars, and we wanna be able to write our pretty notes and we don’t wanna lose all of these great thoughts and ideas.

But we also, we’re gonna want the next pretty notebook too. We’re not gonna not get that specific notebook or that new [00:27:00] pen things that sound silly when you say them out loud, but are very valid and true. And if you know, you know, basically the point being,

as a multi-passionate person, hyper-focusing is normal. Like I said earlier, you might as well embrace it. Expect that it is coming, that you’re gonna have a new hobby or interest. Trust me, if you’re like me, I’m almost 40. The people in my life who matter and care, they already know , they just already know that there is gonna be something new and exciting that I am going to be getting dry mouthed over chatting about, because it’s just something that is so interesting to me and that I wanna share with the world and my ideas are flowing like crazy. But the people who matter and understand your heart also know that with all of these new ideas and these new hobbies, interest, career [00:28:00] goals, business ideas, whatever it.

I can almost guarantee you that there is a consistent heart and a consistent positive energy that goes along with every single one of those. I know for me personally, I know a lot about a. , and that is something that used to be a big insecurity of mine to have to admit that I’m not as excited about something anymore or I’m onto the next new thing.

But I’ve also, through tracking exactly the things that I’m going through, realize wow. All of these things that I’m learning, it’s because of this consistent beauty in life that I wanna capture and this consistent hope and consistent need to wanna help people and communities that are important to me.

And the consistent smile that I get on my face. Eagerness to talk about a topic that feels [00:29:00] so good compared to when I’m just in lull . I look forward to hyper-focusing because I know it’s gonna feel good. I know I’m gonna learn something new, and I’m always just like, where is this gonna take me next?

It’s so exciting. Not everybody gets to experience that you guys. So we’re very special if you’re somebody who hyper focuses and that’s why you tuned in today. and yeah, like are we about to go down a rabbit hole of digital planners maybe? I don’t know.

Happy little hyper-focusing you guys. I am just so grateful that every week there are people who tune in and who relate, it feels like a lot of one-sided talking right now, and I want it to feel more like you can come to me and message me about these things.

I have literally cleared out my dms that I can hear from you about these topics and hear from all of you happy little bluebirds and I cannot wait to see you on the other side of the rainbow.